Sunday, 27 May 2018

Working on my confidence

Hunkemoller playsuit and iKrush sandals

Working on me is probably one of the harder things to do, though when it comes to me helping one of my friends I'll throw all my energy into helping them. But the question is, why can't I do the same when it comes to my own well being?

Ever since I can remember, I have had literally no confidence. Even when I was plastered under 18 litres of eyeliner and racoon hair extensions I was still a little lost under it all, always wanting to please what other people wanted or constantly fretting as to why I wasn't ever as good as the other MySpace girls. Here I am probably around 10 years later, doing the same with Instagram. I've realised it's not healthy and I should be happy in my own skin. I couldn't pin point why I am never happy with how I look or why I pick at faults with myself, but I am on the mission to try and at the very least reduce it. I want to be happier in my own skin, be independent, wear whatever I want and do things that make me happy!

Hunkemoller playsuit and iKrush sandals
Playsuit - Hunkemoller. Sandals - iKrush

I did a post a while ago about how being single helped me, and it really has but it hasn't cured all my other underlying issues. I really am a hell of a lot more independent that I was, I mean the old me definitely wouldn't have travelled places by myself or even posted these photos online. I could probably pick 30 things out about why I wasn't going to post them, but then I though why not?! Not everyone is perfect, so who am I trying to please. I'm now working on that mindset - you don't have to please any one else but yourself.

So last year I decided to start working more on the gym, I know skinny isn't the answer - but the gym clears my head like nothing else does. On a Sunday I go on a crazy downer cause it isn't open and I have nothing else to fulfil my time! By eating healthier (and still eating pizza and Chinese), I have worked on aspects of myself which make me feel 10x better. It's also giving me goals to work towards - like I will one day master a kipping pull up! 

Trying new things, travelling to new places and meeting new people, wearing clothes that I wouldn't usually wear, going braless in an outfit - these are all different things that I'm doing which make me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Yes these may not be the issues you're thinking about, but working on those things you usually hide away from or doing things you would usually say no to can really help your mindset.

Another thing I discovered when in Bali was how much you don't need social media in your life 24/7. I know thats obvious, but sitting at home and scrolling through Instagram 8 hours a day isn't good! It's so easy to do too, so I'm going to get out of the routine I was in before I went away, which was lying in bed until late cramming in all the social media I missed for the day. To now, switching off my phone an hour before I go to bed and relaxing for once! Lets see if I can stick to the new mindset. Mind you, I'm not going to be one of the positive sprouting people 24/7, cause there is nothing more I hate than people shoving that down your neck online! 

What do you do to be more confident? How do you work on yourself?

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